You're a little less of a jerk...

Jerk of the day goes to whoever caused the brutal accident on Route 3 in Clifton this morning. I really hope no one was hurt (I don’t want to sound rude) but you really gave me a bad start to the day. I was sitting in traffic for nearly 30 minutes until I finally broke loose onto Route 46.

I made it to work in no time, and as I was walking into the office I received a phone call from my dad that went something like this:

Dad: Hey Princess, how are ya? (yes, I’m 23 and my dad does still call my princess EVERY TIME I talk to him – I love it)
Shana/Princes: I’m okay, just walking into work – how are you?
D: not bad, I just wanted to hear your voice.
S: are you sure? What’s wrong?
D: nothing, I just miss you.
S: seriously – what’s wrong?
D: ok so I was listening to the radio and I heard that there was an accident in Clifton on route 3. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.


AHA! So the truth comes out.

After I hang up with my dad, I sit down at my desk and start my day. About 2 and half minutes later, I get a text from my mom that says:

Mom: Morning! Have a great day!
Shana: you too! Dad just called me too…
M: We love you that’s all
S: haha any certain reason?
M: I heard that there was an accident in Clifton on rt 3 so I called you, maybe dad heard too
S: haha yup that’s exactly why
M: haha yea you should know that you’re loved and that we’re not just freaks too


So that jerk that caused the accident definitely ruined the beginning of my day, but I must say these two little interactions with my parents made you a little less of a jerk. It’s crazy how I can be almost 100 miles away from them but a simple phone call or text can make my day. so thanks for that. =)

i guess i'm not that hardcore.

So a group of my friends decided to join a soccer league in Morristown. we play Monday nights and so far, it's been a lot of fun. i thought i was going to pass out during our first game - so out of shape. i felt pretty bad about myself until i saw two of my friends gasping for air just as much as i was - and they each run more than 5 miles per morning. it's just hard on everyone, we work muscles we forgot we had, and in the end, i think it's good for all of us.

that being said, we had a 9:30 game this past monday, which just happened to be President's Day. since we all had off of work, we decided to meet up a little early, and go to Raul's Empanadas in Morristown. the thought did cross my mind that this probably wouldn't be a good idea but we still ordered plenty and went back to my friend Chris's apartment to eat.

I would like to call Raul Empanada's a jerk. i know a restaurant cannot technically be a jerk. BUT had you felt like i (and my teammates) felt during our soccer game on monday, you'd understand. without going into too much details or divulging any names - just let it be known that two of my teammates actually did hurl during the game (and rallied for that matter).

Jerk #2 of this post is the man on the other team that made me feel stupid EVERYTIME i went for the ball. this is a co-ed league for FUN. stop being so serious and kicking me in my leg and leaving ugly bruises.

PS - we still beat you so what now?? mwhaha.

You are not nice.

ok so i admit it - i do not go to the gym as often as i should. i think most people can say that, unfortunately. despite that - i do still have a gym membership. that $31 comes out of my bank account each month and i refuse to cancel my membership even if i only go 5 times a month (lately).

I just recently started going to the gym again - mainly because i just signed up for the Warrior Dash (warriordash.com) on 9/18. It's basically a 5K with obstacles dispersed throughout it. I've done 5K's before but I definitely can't run the whole thing at this point. that being said, I've been making a conscious effort to get to the gym more so i don't see my death on 9/18.

Last week, I head to the gym at 6am. The guy who swipes my card at the front desk makes a comment: "it's been a while, huh?" ok no big deal. i honestly can't get mad because you know what - he's right. so i go into the locker room to put my stuff in a locker. come out, walk past desk guy again and he says: "you better get a good workout in today!" um - yea that's the point. still - he annoyed me but oh well. after my workout, i come down and walk past him again. he was smart and kept his mouth shut. but after i showered and got dressed, i walked past him on my way to my car: "Will i see you tomorrow morning?" I respond: "Yep!" his response: "I'll believe it when i see it."

Excuse you?

no big deal. i proceed to go to work. come home. go to bed. wake up and go to the gym the next morning, just like i promised Mr. Gym Swiper guy. I walk in and they happened to be giving away this face moisturizer for men. He sees me, greets me, and hands me my moisturizer and says: "You can give this to your boyfriend...or i mean, probably your dad?"

Hi, my name's shana and i do not like you.

the end.

really? you want to be friends...now??

maybe i'm just becoming a cynical old woman but i've been out of high school for almost 6 years, out of college for almost 2. I'm well set in my ways. i have awesome groups of friends from both high school and college. and hey, believe it or not, i've even made friends after i graduated from both.

for those reasons, i am completely baffled when creepers (and jerks) from high school and/or college facebook me, text me, SPEAK to me at all, and say "hey come to so and so bar, i miss you!"

no, you don't.

how can you possibly miss you if you never even cared enough to speak to me while we were in school? if i made it through four full years without you (and two since graduation) don't you think i'm okay without you? don't you see how stupid you are for saying you miss me??

for the record, this isn't pointed towards any particular individual, i've just noticed this happening far too often and it annoys the hell out of me.

the end.

Yogurt is normal.

i love to sleep. because of this, i find myself constantly running late and rushing to get to work each morning. work starts at 9. always has. i really should have it down by now. but each day i convince myself that i can sleep an extra 5.

the other day, i was rushing around, getting ready to leave for work. i do my usual morning routine: shower, hair, makeup, brush teeth, then food. each morning i figure out breakfast, lunch and dinner for the day. this particular day i grabbed a yogurt (breakfast), a can of soup (lunch) and took out a chicken breast to defrost (dinner). by this time I'm running super late so i grab a metal spoon from our utensil drawer and run out the door with my yogurt.

naturally, i run into traffic on route 3. of course. as i'm sitting there listening to my favorite radio show, i get excited as i realize i have a yogurt to devour. i open it up, take a spoonful. as i continue to eat my yogurt, i look to my right and the man (jerk) literally laughs, points and rolls his eyes at me. you'd honestly think i was eating cow brains.

i'm already running late, i don't need to worry about you and what you think about me and my yogurt. jerk.

PSE&G is a jerk.

my roommate and i are set on an equal payment plan with PSE&G for our gas and electric. every month we pay $172 regardless of our actual usage. in december, our balancing month, we will either owe them or they'll owe us once they review our actual usage vs. what we paid for throughout the year. fine.

so today i open this month's bill. it's the usual $172 so it's all fine. on each bill though, there's a section that shows you what you'd owe (or what they'd owe you) if this were your balancing month. it's usually around $175 or so that we'd owe them. This month it was over $500 more than that so i was confused. I go look at our actual usage for the month. electric is normal but the price for the actual usage of our gas is $719. being the smart, young woman that i am, i went and pulled the bills from the past few months to compare. our actual gas usage for July was $15, August $24 and change. So tell me, how does my actual gas usage go up $695 in one month?????

there's two explanations. 1. we have a gas leak or 2. PSE&G sucks. i'm banking on it being the latter because after sitting on hold with the stupid company for over an hour, the woman finally told me (in her bitchy attitude) to just "wait it out." So now i'm supposed to wait two billing cycles to see "if it evens out" because they "probably read it wrong." uhhh....isn't this your job? you should probably learn how to read it correctly so you don't charge me 30 times what i normally pay, douche.

granted, this doesnt affect septembers bill at all, but it could possible affect our balancing month if they don't stop being stupid. AND i'm not as concerned about the money as i am with our health. God forbid there's a gas leak that's causing this HUGE spike in our bill. if that's the case, i'd prefer not having to wait two billing cycles to "see if it evens out."

why are people so dumb?

"A" is a jerk.

why do personal trainers cost so much?

You know, some gyms even provide trainers for FREE. I mean, their memberships probably cost much more than the $30 per month I pay, but still. I was lucky enough to get a personal trainer package for $249 for 10 sessions. Which, if you know anything about personal training, is an INCREDIBLE deal. So naturally, I was very pleased with this and took him up on it. Now originally, I was training with this one guy, we'll call him J. I went through 3 of my 10 sessions with him before he texted me one night and cancelled for the next morning's session. This happened for 3 mornings in a row, until he finally told me that he had been let go by the gym. Ok, no big deal. Whatever I just kept training on my own even though I still had 7 sessions left. Then one morning while I was working out by myself, a different trainer, we'll call him A, asked me if I was interested in personal training blah blah spiel spiel. I told him how I still had 7 sessions left (probably much to his dismay since I wasn't actually going to be making him any money) and from then on we decided to train together. Fast forward to this past Tuesday morning, which just so happened to be the last of my 10 sessions. Naturally, A tried to convince me to purchase another package. Now, being the normal 23-year-old that I am, I’m not afraid to say that I’m pretty broke. I make good money but I also spend good money. I’m not afraid to buy a new dress, a new book, or a couple (many) beers on the weekends (or during the week for that matter). That being said, I was thinking about possibly spending another $250 on a 10-session package. I told him that I could probably swing $250 for another and then A goes, “oh…uh…that’s only the price for introductory packages. Your new package would cost…” and he holds out his phone, where he had typed the new price (probably because he would have had a HEART ATTACK if he had to actually say this dollar amount). I sit up and check out his phone: $1104!!!!!!!!!!!

…uh, are you kidding???! I obviously went on and told him that I can’t even fathom affording that. A, being the douche bag he is, went on to say “well you don’t have the money but you sure do have the weight to lose (really, you think?). Maybe you should consider getting a second job.”

Ummmm...maybe you should get a second job because hey guess what? I’m not getting a second job to support your life. Also – when exactly would I get a second job? Like I mentioned before, I’m a big fan of fun weekends so I’m obvi not getting rid of that. He suggested a “night job.” I’m still not sure if he was implying I become a prostitute or what, but I told him if I got a “night job” there would be no need for a personal trainer because hey, guess what? I wouldn’t HAVE TIME TO EAT so I’d naturally lose weight from becoming an anorexic.

Thanks jerk.